Happy 4th Birthday Alex!

Not sure why his birthday is so hard for me, for most of us it just means our baby is getting older and not a baby anymore. That’s part of it for me. I think the other half is simply re-living what we went through with him.

4 years ago was a nightmare for me and I wouldn’t give it up for anything, no one think I am complaining. We had found out we were pregnant on August 23 (yes, the day I went in labor with Camden actually, ironic isn’t it?) We had some scares early on but sailed until we hit 20 weeks. Then the crap hit the fan I swear it. We had genetic counseling and they found a dialated kidney. We had to go back to check that and they thought he had a problem with his heart. They threw around "Trisomy 18" but that was also shot down very quickly thankfully. They finally settled on his having an umbilical cord issue and we had to watch that from 24 weeks on with NST’s twice a week and once a week Biophysicalprofiles (meaning in depth ultrasounds to measure things). His umbilical cord was 2 vessels instead of 3 meaning he wasn’t getting everything he needed and needed to be watched very carefully as his size will start decreasing.

At 31 weeks I started swelling very rapidly (Saturday morning) and by Monday I drove myself to the hospital with an insane migraine when the nurse didn’t take me seriously. I was immediately put on magnesium sulfate (which I wish I had been warned it was so horrible!) I was put in a quiet dark delivery room to hang on for a while. I don’t think I can quite explain how horrific I looked, I had 15 or more lbs of shear water weight, the nurses who helped me later saw me when visiting the NICU and did NOT recognize me... it was *bad*. I was confined to that bed on either my left or right side only... for almost a week... I didn’t get to get up ever (catheter) and it sucked to say the least.

I was taken off the mag on Thursday for a little while and got my first cleaning that day (I was so bad I had to take a bath, wasn’t able to even sit... that was *so* embarassing with that poor nurse bathing the whale I was...) My blood pressure shot through the roof that night and I was so scared, they kept telling me I’d be there for a while but we all know when something is wrong... Friday morning they prepped me for a c-section because I was so sick and was supposed to get it that night.

My doctor went on *vacation* that night (no kidding) and so another doctor took my case. That brainiac decided to induce me so it was a long painful night with labor and a freaking migraine going on... smart move huh? They started pitocin the next morning at 9, by 10 his heart rate was dropping so I had my emergency c-section after all. He was born at 11:47 weighing 3 lbs 11 oz and 15 inches long. He was blue when they took him out for a good minute and a half, never will I forget how terrified I was to not hear him crying. He did squeek so we knew he was okay. They bundeled him up and I got to see him for a minute (all I could see was a teeny face). That was the coolest thing, I said hi and gave him a kiss and he stared at me. I treasure that photo.
They took him to the NICU and I stayed to get stitched. I didn’t get to see him again until the next morning 24 hours after he was born but hubby did bring video and photos that night. The first time I saw him I was able to put my hands into this box (incubator obviously) and touch him. He knew my smell, that meant a lot to me that he knew that it was mommy and rubbed my fingers on his tiny face so sweet... I got to hold him that night when he was 36 hours old for a few minutes and that was so neat.

He stayed in the NICU in the incubator for a month. It was hard being a first time mom and the nurses were not always nice to me. (They thought I wasn’t there enough even though I did the best I could and never missed a day to come sit next to his bed). They also made fun of me when I wasn’t sure how to change a diaper on him. I knew how to do it but had never changed a baby in an incubator with cords all over him, that was akward.
He did have some set backs, had to get an iv straight into his heart (that scared me). He had a stomach infection too that took a week of me not being able to hold him and a round of medicine and x-rays each day. He also developed jaundice, another few days of minimal touching. Needless to say he never breast fed. At 3 weeks we found he had a cleft palate (although were told it was simply a "misformed" palate and we didn’t understand what the heck they were talking about).

He did come home finally at 4 lbs 7 oz, so teeny! He had to wait 2 years to get the cleft palate repaired and had a lot of therapy (the therapy started right as Ariana was born). He still is in therapy for speech and I’m trying to get him back into Occupational Therapy to help sensory issues.

He is such a strong spirit though. He has a positive attitude all the time and loves to have fun. The child is fearless and scares me jumping off things all the time. He is very caring too and sensitive to what others are feeling. He sure takes care of his mommy, he always has come to think of it.

Thanks for letting me ramble. His birthday is so bittersweet and I couldn’t be more proud of how far he’s come. Gosh I love this kid!!!