Halloween 2010

I know, slacker I am.. never updating THIS blog. :) We are doing well though, although I'm still as baby hungry as ever (for those who aren't keeping track I've been "wanting" another baby for the last 2 1/2 years now... well more than wanting but hoping for one? We've had a few miscarriages but nothing too far along thankfully... they still suck...)

Anyways, Alex is doing really well. He had his MRI recently to check his spinal cord and it was FINE. NO sign of a tethered spinal cord and so now we are going to turn to OT and see what they can tell us about what we can do to train him. It's not his fault... we know that. He has two AMAZING aides this year, we couldn't be happier. Mrs Tammy is in the morning and Miss Jenn in the afternoon and I just adore them (more or less because they just LOVE Alex so that makes it easier.) Besides, I want to adopt Jenn as another sister (and she reads this blog so hey Jenn!) It's all good and they have been helping him so much. His teacher is amazing, we LOVE her too. It's just a huge blessing and a sigh of relief for me that we were so blessed. He's doing well, still struggles to hit the big 30 lbs mark (we were there but he dropped below 30 lbs again). Oh well. He's catching up a lot this year actually... if you look at his height next to the other kids he's still small but doesn't look like some preschooler who snuck in when no one was watching anymore. lol. His writing and reading are coming along (once again thanks to the many people that help him along with his teacher and aides). It's fabulous.

Ariana is doing well too, she's had a few bad days at school but mostly because she gets SO excited. It's the oposite of last year where they didn't know if she would talk. This year in Kindergarten she comes home and gushes about how she loves her teacher and someday wants to be a teacher "just like her" (ha... her daddy and grandpa are both teachers but she doesn't want to be like them, they are boys after all). lol. She''s so cute and is SO much taller than her brothers now. No one mistakes her and Alex for twins anymore, rather it's Alex and Camden. (Yes, that would be the longest pregnancy in history since they are 3 years apart...)

Speaking of Camden he's a booger but we love him. He's off the charts tall (they think he'll be at least 6'4 someday... 1 inch taller than daddy at least) and so he's proud of that. He's smart as can be (holy cow) and will be ready for school when his turn comes. We figure it helps that we work with the other two on letters/counting/etc and he is just picking up on it too. We don't mind, we love watching him learn. Sometimes we forget though that he IS just three because he's so tall and talks so well. Poor guy... He's not potty trained yet either but we know that his issue is that he watches Alex (who works hard at it) and since Alex isn't potty trained... well... neither is Camden despite our efforts. Stinker will get it someday, he's smart enough.

I'm doing great, I am on those thyroid medicines and FINALLY am feeling more normal. It's fabulous, I haven't felt this "normal" or like myself in a LONG time. It's amazing and I am not in a hurry to give up any of the medicines soon. I am hoping to wean off the 20mg of Prozac (lowest dose) but will stay on the low dose of thyroid meds. Good stuff. I'm praying for a baby... Ariana asks me all the time for a sister and I of course worry about a huge age gap after how close the other three are but it's not in my hands. The Lord knows what he's doing and honestly I'm grateful my body will be healthy (and my mental health... roflol) before another child. Definitely not ready to be done at the moment though.

Ray is working on his Masters project so he should have the Masters in Mathematics Education by Spring if it all goes well. Big relief! We also are NOT going to be moving to Idaho any time soon like we had hoped. We can't just sell our house at the moment and know we are where we need to be. Besides, we can't give up our aides for Alex. :) Ray is doing well though and we are all good.

Here are some great photos from Halloween to show you the kids (they kept changing their minds on their costumes).

Our friend Shane did face painting for the kids at their Halloween party and this is what Ariana ended up with (although when he first offered she had a melt down, you just never know with her...)

This was Alex's sign that he wrote yesterday when home sick.. he was DYING to go back to school and wrote "I want to go to school" on the board. Well, at least he sounded it out. Whether the letters went where they were supposed to is another matter... lol. He even drew himself on there, how thoughtful of him.

update on me

I am pretty sure I have hypothyroidism... and this is a relief and a frustration. A relief because maybe we can do something to get this worked out. A frustration because now I need to convince the doctors to stop ignoring my symptoms. I've done the research and I have the signs of it. Not only that but I have gained weight and no clue why it keeps happening (20 lbs). It's really not only annoying but difficult. My last doctor I complained to her that my periods were coming closer together than they should be. She just said this was "better for fertility so no harm done". That's when I knew I coouldn't see HER anymore. lol.

Sigh.

So I see a new doctor on Tuesday and am praying he can help me...

Ramblings

I feel like I should be sad... I should be overwhelmed or frustrated. I have to admit that I am in fact on prozac... depression started after Ariana's birth 5 years ago and we are now looking at my thyroid to see if this can be solved. Until then I'm on a very low dose of prozac.

My great-grandmother died peacefully this morning. She was 92 and when I saw her 2 days ago we knew she was dying. She was a strong and amazing woman who would curse like a sailor (lol sorry Grandma) and was fiesty as can be. She loved her family though and loved the grandchildren and great-grandchildren and even the great-great-grandchildren. (lol.) She will be missed but she was so miserable at the end of her life that none of us can be too upset that she's finally happy. She's finally at peace and we look forward to seeing her someday but know she's up there with others we've lost and loved.

Her memorial will be on Monday. On Tuesday I get a biopsy on my thyroid... not thrilled but anxious to have this over with. I am also waiting on two fillings (I hate those) and Alex will be getting a sedated MRI here soon as well. Then beginning of August Alex will be in 1st grade and I'm just so nervous about that... he's supposed to get some aides for school but whether they happen right away is to be seen. I am nervous she will be someone we don't like so praying that it works out okay...

I should be sad... crushed... but I'm doing okay. I claim it's the medicine I'm on and that's most of it. :) I also know that Great-Grandma Vera is happy finally... finally free from that body that was no longer working. She's probably giving them heck for not letting her come sooner like she wanted. roflol.

That's what's on my mind today... just a lot that I am taking one day at a time.

Happy 4th of July

I hope you all had a great weekend! We had a nice time last night with my parents and sister... nothing big (unfortunately) but I also didn't feel good so it worked out okay. The kids were loud at church but that was partly because my dad came and sat with us (lol). Oh well... it wasn't bad.
Today my heart is sad though so I thought why not blog. :) My great-grandmother is 92 years old and is dying... it's hard to watch. She's wanted to 'go' for a while but it just wasn't her time and we were happy to keep her around. The last few days she's gone down-hill quickly. Today we made a trip down to see her and my grandparents (who were visiting from out of town to see her). The kids had a blast because my great-aunt (who's house we were at) has a pool. Needless to say the adults didn't have quite as much fun. lol. It hurt to see her laying there, frail, sick... it was just so hard to see someone you love suffering. We're all ready to let her stop hurting but it still hurts my heart. The spirit was strong there around her... I've never been in a situation like that and it's definitely something I'll remember... I sure love her and hope her pain will soon end.
On happier news I got some great photos of the kids today. Wanted to share them with you. :)

Umm... miss me? lol

It's been a little while... just a little. lol. I've been doing my "business" blog but not personal so I figured I better do it tonight.

Things are going here... going good and bad. roflol. My family is fine, just the normal trials the Lord helps us through and some days we end up feeling crazy. Camden is great and growing like mad, that kid is so solid compared to the light weights that his brother and sister are. Not fat at all, just really insanely tall. Sheesh, wonder where he gets that from! :) He's loved being home with me this year while Ariana was in preschool and Alex in K and I've really enjoyed it too. He's so insanely smart too and we laugh, he's learning to read letters and numbers right along with the other two and will be well on his way when school finally rolls around. He will be 3 in August but acts like he's bigger sometimes... makes me miss that baby... let's keep him at 2 for a while.

Ariana loves school and has done so well in Preschool. They are finished soon but she's really loved it and loves her friend Heidi from class (they hit it off the first day). She just turned 5 and had a cute Princess tea party birthday with a couple of friends. (2 friends from church and her cousin Deanna). She had a great time and I just laugh at the things she says and does. She's always drawing, this girl loves anything art. She is dressing up all the time too and is very opinionated about her hair. She's still a little princess and we like that, she's not in a hurry to grow up too quickly and we like it that way.

Alex is 6 and doing well also. He has struggled with Kindergarten but more in the fine motor area. Writing has been a real struggle and so have site words but he's getting them and ready to move on to first grade this fall. We're working hard to get him help he needs and he has been approved that they need an aide for him for school. We won't allow him to be put into "special day" class but he does need some help. He has his sensory issues and with everything going on around him he'd get too distracted and get left behind in 1st grade. We have his teacher requested (principal has approved thanks to his IEP carrier...) I'm anxious of course, 1st grade intimidates me with him being so small and thrown in with all the big kids. Thankfully all of the office staff and most teachers of the younger grades know who Alex is so he shouldn't be too bad (that kid talks to everyone!!!)

Ray is good, almost done with work and got a few more weeks after that of college. He'll start his "thesis" this fall... big relief for me and I'm more than DONE with him in college (10 years now with being married in college... well 10 years married in September). Somehow we've survived but it's time... lol.

I am hanging in there. I'm on a low dose of Prozac and hating the side effects. Been on it almost a year now and I just really need to see if there is another one that doesn't react quite like this one since I'll be on it for a while longer. It's just no fun... although better than PPD it's still not fun feeling nauseated, exhausted, and forgetful all the time. There is of course other things that I go through but they aren't as regular as those three. lol. I'm hanging in there though, fighting to get Alex what he needs and trying to take care of myself in all of this mess.

I am going to take Alex in for a physical here on Tuesday and then see the ENT for myself on Friday. I have a nodule on my thyroid that they want to biopsy and make sure they don't need to worry about cancer. Never a fun thing (hello, they want to stick a needle in me... freaks me out!) I will get that set up Friday... it's been known since Feb so this wait has been really frustrating. I also have Alex seeing the Neurologist next week... lots of fun goodies coming up.

So that's what's on our plates right now. It will be 2 years in June that I got baby hungry and started trying for another child and, well, obviously the Lord has other plans. I hate the trial of patience sometimes. lol.

I'm in the spotlight!!!

Okay, I've been SO excited about this for a while now... I am a spotlight designer at The Daily Digi today! Go check it out, snag a coupon from me, and even see what I donated to their grab bag (which is amazing!)



http://thedailydigi.com/

Thinking

Sorry I haven't posted in... well... forever. I've had a lot to think about and didn't know how to put it into writing. It's not bad, it's actually good. (No, not pregnant). lol.

The kids are doing well. Alex is really enjoying school although I still have my concerns. I don't get the feeling that his teacher likes him much but I think she's just over-worked and he's getting lost. He gets speech four days a week and OT once a week and they both just adore him. He has friends and enjoys playing. He's also writing his name and doing well with trying although with his Sensory Processing Disorder (recently diagnosed finally) he's too distracted by everything going on around him and he gets lost. I am debating whether this is going to be a real problem but he needs to be where he is. Time will tell how well he's doing, he's writing at least!!! SO proud of him!

Ariana is good too, she's in Preschool and LOVES it. She's smart as can be, they wanted to have her tested for intelligence apparently (because she gets so bored in class, she gets her work done so quickly). We just think she's a smarty pants and will LOVE Kindergarten when her turn comes. All in time... let's not get her too quickly into school here. She has made friends and is so chatty, it's been great for her.

Camden is good too, he really enjoys time with mommy in the mornings when everyone is at school. He's so cute and also very smart. He's counting to 12 on his own and can talk your ear off about things you didn't realize he understood. He's also the size of a three year old, so insanely tall. Ariana is too, she's gotten taller than Alexander now. So funny!

I'm good, gone through a lot of changes the last few months. First I started that Prozac in June of this year. 2 months later I went back and talked to the doctor, adjusted the dose slightly (it's still a really low dose), and made a plan. I have to remain on it for 6 months, at which point they will let me go off the prozac (assuming I feel good) and then we can be referred to a Fertility doctor for our problems getting pregnant. SO nervous about that but I love to have a plan. So February I go in and we start taking me off the medicine. I am feeling REALLY good btw and am grateful for modern medicine. :)

I've thought about it recently and realized that the last two years I had become more and more dulled to the spirit thanks to the depression I wasn't realizing I was battling. I was more and more not feeling it when I wanted so desperately too and more and more was having thoughts in my head that didn't belong and I didn't want them to. I knew I wasn't alone and wasn't a really depressed state but knew something was off, I was tired of being so moody, and really needed something to make it stop. Satan sure does have a way to get to us and knows our weaknesses so well, I look back now and am grateful I had help getting through that (not only from loved ones but people on the other side of the veil helping me I'm sure).

I am so happy to say that I feel the Spirit a LOT now and it's really such a comforting feeling. I did feel it before but now that my hormones are mellowed out and I'm happier I can finally feel that again. I love it so much and really missed it... I know it sounds silly but it's really such a relief to me.

I know this will seem arrogant but I know that Satan is especially mad that Ray and I are together. It's been something I've felt from the beginning, that Satan hates that we are together. Weird I know. He hates it though because we are happy... we love each other... and we have very amazing and strong children who are going to someday be amazing missionaries (well, they are already to be honest). He tries so hard to break us, he wants so badly for my family to not be a family. I really do feel that, it angers him that Ray and I are not only doing what we are supposed to but somehow our family is going to do great things and he doesn't want that. We were told in a blessing once that Ray and I were together before the world was ever created and that was such a beautiful insight to me... to think that we were supposed to do what we are doing right now (same as everyone on the earth at this moment, we all have a special plan). It just really is so sweet.

So that's my rambling for tonight, if you think I'm crazy well... okay. lol. I hope you are all doing well and Happy Thanksgiving!