Ray's work is out for the summer, so happy he'll be home! Ahh! He still has college classes in the evenings until June 16th but that's okay, he's still going to be home more. I'm so thrilled and the kids are eating it up already. Remind me of that once we hit July and we're all dying of boredom... lol. Love you babe! July is just a really slow month for our family...
We're going to be pretty busy in June, kind of excited about that. This Saturday, June 6th, I get to go to the temple for my baby brother's endowment and my ENTIRE family will be there. Well, maybe not grandparents but I will be in the temple with my parents and *all* of my siblings. I've waited for this moment for so long and yes, I'm going to ball like a baby I already know and have accepted that. It's here! Wahoo! It will only get better as we (hopefully) add more members to our family (aka getting my siblings married). Ahh, in due time. For those who don't know Daniel is leaving end of August for Chile, well, for the MTC to learn Spanish for his mission in Chile. lol. We are really excited and know he'll do wonderfully.
I am going to the doctor here next week (June 8) and am actually nervous and so excited. I'm hoping they can give me some answers. I also get to see Alex's doctors on the 18th and have a new solution I want to try to help his weight. A sister in our ward has this fabulous juice that they gave her daughter with weight issues and Alex likes it! Finally a drink that he likes! Thanks to her we're going to beg/harass the doctors into getting the insurance to pay for the drinks and see if we can get his weight from 27 lbs. If anyone is wondering Camden is now the same weight, crazy tall, and they can wear each others clothes. People think the boys are twins now, something totally new to us with not only a 3 year age gap but they always assumed Ariana and Alex were the twins. So weird! (We get "are they triplets" occasionally but only when they're all sitting, Ariana towers over them so they figure out that she's not the same age fairly quickly... I definitely respect you Mindy for what you go through with your own triplets... Brandi too and her twin girls). Ick...
Good news all around, glad to have good news. I also got a new calling today. Yes, I was only in Primay for a very long... ahem.. for 5 months as 2nd Counselor. Things happened that made it really hard for me to be in there so the bishopric decided to let Sister Jackson have her request and moved me to the Relief Society Secretary. Ironically my mom is the same position meeting in the same building only the block before us, makes me laugh. I am really excited and looking forward to working with these new women. It feels good to know I'm wanted in this calling and will be able to DO my calling.
So that's the big news for this quiet Sunday... I'd keep typing but I'm on a wireless keyboard and Camden is helping me type and interupting the connection so this is getting... well... fun.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Ariana
Well I didn't get to post a special post about Ariana when her birthday came around so I wanted to take a minute to do that. Ariana was my miracle blessing. We were not expecting to have another baby right away, I was sick for a few weeks before it dawned on me to take a pregnancy test! We were shocked and thrilled... she was due a year after Alex was born around his original due date.
The pregnancy was so smooth, so unlike Alex's pregnancy. We were pretty sure she was a girl from the start and were over the moon when that was confirmed. :) It was hard being pregnant, Alex was still on a bottle when I was 9 months pregnant so I'd feed him laying in my arms while trying to avoid squashing Ariana. They sure were happy to be around each other even then. lol.
She was born May 10, Mexico's Mother Day and the day after US's mother day. She broke my water at 11 or so on May 9th sending us to the hospital at 3 weeks before her due date (we were full term and so happy about that!) The labor was hard and *so* long because it hadn't started at all when the water broke. I didn't use any drugs (what was I thinking) and had a doula help me learn to breath through the contractions. Remember, Alex was a c-section so I'd never gotten to labor before this, it was all new (and dangerous because it was a vaginal delivery so soon after a c-section). It went beautifully and only took a few pushes before she came out at 8 lbs 4 oz, a huge baby for us! She had dark hair, chubby cheeks, and looked nothing like we expected. lol.
She was such a good baby and so happy, we were up a lot with neither of them sleeping through the night but I think she was sleeping by 2 months so we were relieved... Alex was not an easy baby thanks to his schedule from the NICU so this was so wonderful!
She's now 4 and the "mommy" of all the kids. She is taller than Alex (she's SO tall) and is a total love bug. She is shy if she doesn't know you but with her own peers she's a leader and takes charge. She doesn't like to believe that she and Alex are not the same age and gets mad when she doesn't get to go to school or be 5 just like Alex. She's a total mommy's girl, thumb sucker, with the cutest dimples in town. She's got us all wrapped around her pinky and knows how to work it. She loves princesses, Dora, Strawberry Shortcake, and My Little Pony. She also loves pink and wishes so badly she had a baby sister... asks for one all the time. She loves to draw (anything artistic) and dancing is also up there. She's more timid than Alex but has learned taking chances can be fun sometimes and is getting more brave as she grows.
She's my girl and I love that she's so goofy and fun. I'm so grateful for a daughter and know she'll make an amazing woman some day.
The pregnancy was so smooth, so unlike Alex's pregnancy. We were pretty sure she was a girl from the start and were over the moon when that was confirmed. :) It was hard being pregnant, Alex was still on a bottle when I was 9 months pregnant so I'd feed him laying in my arms while trying to avoid squashing Ariana. They sure were happy to be around each other even then. lol.
She was born May 10, Mexico's Mother Day and the day after US's mother day. She broke my water at 11 or so on May 9th sending us to the hospital at 3 weeks before her due date (we were full term and so happy about that!) The labor was hard and *so* long because it hadn't started at all when the water broke. I didn't use any drugs (what was I thinking) and had a doula help me learn to breath through the contractions. Remember, Alex was a c-section so I'd never gotten to labor before this, it was all new (and dangerous because it was a vaginal delivery so soon after a c-section). It went beautifully and only took a few pushes before she came out at 8 lbs 4 oz, a huge baby for us! She had dark hair, chubby cheeks, and looked nothing like we expected. lol.
She was such a good baby and so happy, we were up a lot with neither of them sleeping through the night but I think she was sleeping by 2 months so we were relieved... Alex was not an easy baby thanks to his schedule from the NICU so this was so wonderful!
She's now 4 and the "mommy" of all the kids. She is taller than Alex (she's SO tall) and is a total love bug. She is shy if she doesn't know you but with her own peers she's a leader and takes charge. She doesn't like to believe that she and Alex are not the same age and gets mad when she doesn't get to go to school or be 5 just like Alex. She's a total mommy's girl, thumb sucker, with the cutest dimples in town. She's got us all wrapped around her pinky and knows how to work it. She loves princesses, Dora, Strawberry Shortcake, and My Little Pony. She also loves pink and wishes so badly she had a baby sister... asks for one all the time. She loves to draw (anything artistic) and dancing is also up there. She's more timid than Alex but has learned taking chances can be fun sometimes and is getting more brave as she grows.
She's my girl and I love that she's so goofy and fun. I'm so grateful for a daughter and know she'll make an amazing woman some day.
By the way, NO relation to Camden here... lol. They look *so* much alike at this age...
*I lost a ton of my photos on a hard-drive and am working to get them off... sorry for not having a million of her... lol*
*I lost a ton of my photos on a hard-drive and am working to get them off... sorry for not having a million of her... lol*
Alex's photos
Here are Alex's 5 year photos, almost forgot to post these. He did great too!
Now I want you to look at the difference in this one and his 1 year... he's grown a lot of course but at 1 he couldn't even crawl let alone sit on this number...
Now I want you to look at the difference in this one and his 1 year... he's grown a lot of course but at 1 he couldn't even crawl let alone sit on this number...
Ariana's Photos
We did some photos at Sears for Ariana's 4th birthday and she did *so* well. This is the kid who hated getting them done, she's finally out-grown that! Whew! lol
Funny quiz
Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz ...
You Are a Doris!
You are a Doris -- "I must help others."
Dorises are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.
How to Get Along with Me
- * Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
- * Share fun times with me.
- * Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
- * Let me know that I am important and special to you.
- * Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.
In Intimate Relationships
- * Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
- * Reassure me often that you love me.
- * Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.
What I Like About Being a Doris
- * being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
- * knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
- * being generous, caring, and warm
- * being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
- * being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor
What's Hard About Being a Doris
- * not being able to say no
- * having low self-esteem
- * feeling drained from overdoing for others
- * not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
- * criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
- * being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
- * working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings
Dorises as Children Often
- * are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
- * try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
- * are outwardly compliant
- * are popular or try to be popular with other children
- * act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
- * are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Dorises), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Dorises)
Dorises as Parents
- * are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
- * are often playful with their children
- * wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
- * can become fiercely protective
By the way, this quiz was amazingly funny because I totally agree with the description!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Crazy Ramblings
Alright, so I"m crazy... very overwhelmingly crazy... I swear some days I feel like it. lol.
Honestly though, for a while I've had people surprised that I can "handle it so well" and are impressed. I smile, thank them, and wonder how am I doing it? Well to be honest, I don't think I'm doing as well as I thought. I've had a lot of problems that I carry around with me and I do think I've dealt with PPD since before Camden was born and am only now willing to admit that. (I tried to ask my doctor at my 6 week checkup after Camden was born but she brushed it off... that was 18 months ago). That's the story of me, I had full blown toxemia (almost made them pass out when I drove myself to my doctor and walked in looking like a marshmallow) but the nurse assured me I was fine during a phone conversation. It takes a while for that nagging inside that something is not right for me to do something about it... sometimes that is. Sometimes I am right on but when it comes to me or my health for some reason it's easier to ignore things, pretend they don't happen.
I was fine after Alex was born despite their shock, they thought I'd have PPD but I honestly felt great. After Ariana was born I probably did have PPD but it didn't present itself the way I assumed it would. No crying lags, no sleepless nights (well, except getting up with the baby). I did however lock myself and my babies in my house away from others. I did go out with my mom occasionally and did church, all the stuff I should do. I kept myself away from the world as much as I could though and with two little babies that wasn't the best move.
When I was pregnant with Camden I had some issues... I was really scary agressive and thought that was the raging testosterone from carrying a son. (By the way, I was never agressive torwards people I knew or my children, it was ironically at strangers in the store... lol). I'm still dealing with some of the PPD stuff from before and it's finally time I say something I guess. This is a journal for me also so bear with me.
For those who don't know I also have a very non-supportive MIL who makes my life very hard and I honestly think my relationship with her, and the drama that surrounds certain members of my in-laws, is part of my problem. I try to not let it be but I do... she's really hurt me the last few years and I internalize it because I'm not allowed to say something to her. I'm not allowed to fight back, not allowed to let them know how I feel, just supposed to take it because fighting back is not going to solve any problems and besides, they wouldn't listen anyways. This is the oppposite of how I am raised, if you have a difficult relationship you have to work together on it not pretend that it's not a problem. She can be rude and spiteful and then turn around and wonders why I don't like her. I know that she has issues that I am not allowed to understand at this time, but that doesn't make it not hurt or drive me to insanity. I have to not be around her, I have to keep as much space as possible, or I may one day snap at her and really tell her what I've kept inside for 8 1/2 years... it wouldn't be pretty but then I feel sometimes that she would be much happier if she 0got to raise my kids... not a great feeling to get from your MIL.
Ray is gone all the time as well. He's working on his Masters now, he's been in school the *entire* 8 1/2 years we've been married. He doesn't get a lot of breaks either. After both Ariana and Camden were born he went back to work *2 days* later. No paternity leave, no staying home with me, just back to work. It's how it has to be and I understand that but I think being the sole child-care provider takes a toll on me. I go for *weeks* without getting away from my children and he goes for *weeks* only seeing them for a few hours here and there. It gets heavy sometimes.
I do have a good support system if I let them do their job. If I *let* others help me things go better and I realize that. It's accepting the help and realizing that I can't do this alone that's been something I've learned this last year. Maybe that's why I'm finally able to realize I do need to accept help from others (I promise I'm getting better at it!) My sister living with us was nice because I finally learned I don't *have* to take this load on all by myself.
So now that I've scared the snot out of all of you... lol. No I'm not depressed... no I'm not on meds right now (lol)... just tired and have done a lot of thinking and trying to decide what my best choice is and how I've gotten this far. I'm not doing anything crazy, what I mean by choice is I am going to talk to a new doctor and see if they are more willing to listen to the crazy ramblings of an over worked mother.
Ray is off for the summer soon (couple of weeks) and that will be a blessing for sure! Love to have him home again. Speaking of having someone home, my brother is coming over tonight to help me with the kids (Ray isn't home until late) so I've got to go.
Thanks for listening to my rambling, I know I'm not the only mom out there who thinks she is immune to the insanity of motherhood... lol
Honestly though, for a while I've had people surprised that I can "handle it so well" and are impressed. I smile, thank them, and wonder how am I doing it? Well to be honest, I don't think I'm doing as well as I thought. I've had a lot of problems that I carry around with me and I do think I've dealt with PPD since before Camden was born and am only now willing to admit that. (I tried to ask my doctor at my 6 week checkup after Camden was born but she brushed it off... that was 18 months ago). That's the story of me, I had full blown toxemia (almost made them pass out when I drove myself to my doctor and walked in looking like a marshmallow) but the nurse assured me I was fine during a phone conversation. It takes a while for that nagging inside that something is not right for me to do something about it... sometimes that is. Sometimes I am right on but when it comes to me or my health for some reason it's easier to ignore things, pretend they don't happen.
I was fine after Alex was born despite their shock, they thought I'd have PPD but I honestly felt great. After Ariana was born I probably did have PPD but it didn't present itself the way I assumed it would. No crying lags, no sleepless nights (well, except getting up with the baby). I did however lock myself and my babies in my house away from others. I did go out with my mom occasionally and did church, all the stuff I should do. I kept myself away from the world as much as I could though and with two little babies that wasn't the best move.
When I was pregnant with Camden I had some issues... I was really scary agressive and thought that was the raging testosterone from carrying a son. (By the way, I was never agressive torwards people I knew or my children, it was ironically at strangers in the store... lol). I'm still dealing with some of the PPD stuff from before and it's finally time I say something I guess. This is a journal for me also so bear with me.
For those who don't know I also have a very non-supportive MIL who makes my life very hard and I honestly think my relationship with her, and the drama that surrounds certain members of my in-laws, is part of my problem. I try to not let it be but I do... she's really hurt me the last few years and I internalize it because I'm not allowed to say something to her. I'm not allowed to fight back, not allowed to let them know how I feel, just supposed to take it because fighting back is not going to solve any problems and besides, they wouldn't listen anyways. This is the oppposite of how I am raised, if you have a difficult relationship you have to work together on it not pretend that it's not a problem. She can be rude and spiteful and then turn around and wonders why I don't like her. I know that she has issues that I am not allowed to understand at this time, but that doesn't make it not hurt or drive me to insanity. I have to not be around her, I have to keep as much space as possible, or I may one day snap at her and really tell her what I've kept inside for 8 1/2 years... it wouldn't be pretty but then I feel sometimes that she would be much happier if she 0got to raise my kids... not a great feeling to get from your MIL.
Ray is gone all the time as well. He's working on his Masters now, he's been in school the *entire* 8 1/2 years we've been married. He doesn't get a lot of breaks either. After both Ariana and Camden were born he went back to work *2 days* later. No paternity leave, no staying home with me, just back to work. It's how it has to be and I understand that but I think being the sole child-care provider takes a toll on me. I go for *weeks* without getting away from my children and he goes for *weeks* only seeing them for a few hours here and there. It gets heavy sometimes.
I do have a good support system if I let them do their job. If I *let* others help me things go better and I realize that. It's accepting the help and realizing that I can't do this alone that's been something I've learned this last year. Maybe that's why I'm finally able to realize I do need to accept help from others (I promise I'm getting better at it!) My sister living with us was nice because I finally learned I don't *have* to take this load on all by myself.
So now that I've scared the snot out of all of you... lol. No I'm not depressed... no I'm not on meds right now (lol)... just tired and have done a lot of thinking and trying to decide what my best choice is and how I've gotten this far. I'm not doing anything crazy, what I mean by choice is I am going to talk to a new doctor and see if they are more willing to listen to the crazy ramblings of an over worked mother.
Ray is off for the summer soon (couple of weeks) and that will be a blessing for sure! Love to have him home again. Speaking of having someone home, my brother is coming over tonight to help me with the kids (Ray isn't home until late) so I've got to go.
Thanks for listening to my rambling, I know I'm not the only mom out there who thinks she is immune to the insanity of motherhood... lol
May is so crazy for us!
So May is upon us and we are nuts! Ray is finishing up with his teaching, Alex is ending Preschool, Ariana turns 4 on Sunday (Mothers Day) and I am just nuts. lol.
Re-cap of what's gone on lately. Yesterday I got up at 5:30 to get Alex registered for Kindergarten. Yes, 5:30 and the office didn't open until 8 am. Why so early? See, to get morning Kindergarten you have to get there *early*. I was there at 6:15 and the 11th person in line (aka I get not only morning but got to ask for a specific teacher and have a good chance of getting her because I was the *first* one with completed paperwork!) I had fun waiting, met a nice gentleman who was registering his little girl and we laughed the whole time. It's so nice to be an adult now and not be as shy as I was as a kid, I can talk to complete strangers! We were both enrolling our kids in the same class (hopefully... we both wanted the same teacher I mean). He's only a few years away from retiring from the police force... no worries! ;)
Anyways, after that we took the kids to Disneyland for Ariana's birthday! We had a total blast but the kids ended up having to walk all over (we only brought one stroller). Big mistake, yikes! I am *so* sore today from carrying/piggy backing them all over the park. Ouch! It was fun, hot but not so many people there and we got to do everything she wanted to.
Alex is doing good, not potty trained still but it's bowel movements that are holding him back (I know, TMI). We're going to work hard on that this summer and his IEP meeting is the end of this month so we can let the school know this may not be done by Fall. (His Preschool teacher can't get him to do it, she was so determined and she can't either so I at least have that! lol).
Ariana is 4 on Sunday, a Mother's Day baby, and is angry that she won't be 5. She's taller than Alex and has matured a lot lately, she thinks she needs to be 5 also. Sorry sweetie, maybe next year. lol. She's doing great, I'll post another post about her soon for her birthday.
Camden is so stinking tall by the way. He's 20 months and just enormously tall. He is so allergic to things (poor guy, it's making him miserable with all the flowers) but he doesn't complain. What a sweetie. Smart as can be and such a love bug.
Ray is done with teaching for the year soon and is safe in his job, thank goodness. He's working hard on Master Classes at Cal State and enjoys that, those big Math classes go over my head but he's definitely enjoying them. Thank goodness! lol.
I am doing, well, doing. lol. I am designing like crazy but I think that's to give me a break from my kids, I don't seem to get away from them enough anymore. Not that I don't want to be around them but when *weeks* pass by and I haven't had two seconds away from them it gets really challenging.
I am dealing with some issues with that and have to learn how to ask for, and more importantly *accept* help from others.
In other news my baby brother Daniel is going to Chile on his mission. This is such wonderful news! We go to the temple with him soon and I can't wait... I've waited for this for years. All of us will get to be in the temple *TOGETHER* This is a huge blessing to see all of my siblings in the temple together with my parents, definitely will need a box of tissues for this one! lol. Michael is going on up to BYU Utah as a Junior to work on his schooling (he wants to do Medical). Catherine is living with my parents now and is going to go back to school for nursing, definitely a smart choice for her and she loves it. (She works as a massage therapist at the moment, something to get her by but not something she can keep up with... being on call all the time is rough!)
So that's what is going on with them... my parents are good too if anyone wondered. lol. (Mom reads my blog).
We love you all and hope you are doing well.
Re-cap of what's gone on lately. Yesterday I got up at 5:30 to get Alex registered for Kindergarten. Yes, 5:30 and the office didn't open until 8 am. Why so early? See, to get morning Kindergarten you have to get there *early*. I was there at 6:15 and the 11th person in line (aka I get not only morning but got to ask for a specific teacher and have a good chance of getting her because I was the *first* one with completed paperwork!) I had fun waiting, met a nice gentleman who was registering his little girl and we laughed the whole time. It's so nice to be an adult now and not be as shy as I was as a kid, I can talk to complete strangers! We were both enrolling our kids in the same class (hopefully... we both wanted the same teacher I mean). He's only a few years away from retiring from the police force... no worries! ;)
Anyways, after that we took the kids to Disneyland for Ariana's birthday! We had a total blast but the kids ended up having to walk all over (we only brought one stroller). Big mistake, yikes! I am *so* sore today from carrying/piggy backing them all over the park. Ouch! It was fun, hot but not so many people there and we got to do everything she wanted to.
Alex is doing good, not potty trained still but it's bowel movements that are holding him back (I know, TMI). We're going to work hard on that this summer and his IEP meeting is the end of this month so we can let the school know this may not be done by Fall. (His Preschool teacher can't get him to do it, she was so determined and she can't either so I at least have that! lol).
Ariana is 4 on Sunday, a Mother's Day baby, and is angry that she won't be 5. She's taller than Alex and has matured a lot lately, she thinks she needs to be 5 also. Sorry sweetie, maybe next year. lol. She's doing great, I'll post another post about her soon for her birthday.
Camden is so stinking tall by the way. He's 20 months and just enormously tall. He is so allergic to things (poor guy, it's making him miserable with all the flowers) but he doesn't complain. What a sweetie. Smart as can be and such a love bug.
Ray is done with teaching for the year soon and is safe in his job, thank goodness. He's working hard on Master Classes at Cal State and enjoys that, those big Math classes go over my head but he's definitely enjoying them. Thank goodness! lol.
I am doing, well, doing. lol. I am designing like crazy but I think that's to give me a break from my kids, I don't seem to get away from them enough anymore. Not that I don't want to be around them but when *weeks* pass by and I haven't had two seconds away from them it gets really challenging.
I am dealing with some issues with that and have to learn how to ask for, and more importantly *accept* help from others.
In other news my baby brother Daniel is going to Chile on his mission. This is such wonderful news! We go to the temple with him soon and I can't wait... I've waited for this for years. All of us will get to be in the temple *TOGETHER* This is a huge blessing to see all of my siblings in the temple together with my parents, definitely will need a box of tissues for this one! lol. Michael is going on up to BYU Utah as a Junior to work on his schooling (he wants to do Medical). Catherine is living with my parents now and is going to go back to school for nursing, definitely a smart choice for her and she loves it. (She works as a massage therapist at the moment, something to get her by but not something she can keep up with... being on call all the time is rough!)
So that's what is going on with them... my parents are good too if anyone wondered. lol. (Mom reads my blog).
We love you all and hope you are doing well.
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